What to Do When Someone Dies at Home: A Step-by-Step Guide

If your parent dies at home, the first call you make in the next few minutes will determine a great deal about what happens next. The wrong call — specifically, calling 911 when your parent was on hospice or had a DNR — can trigger a chain of events that goes against everything they wanted. Paramedics who arrive on scene may be legally obligated to attempt resuscitation unless they can immediately locate a valid out-of-hospital DNR or POLST form.

This guide walks through exactly what to do, depending on whether the death was expected or unexpected, and whether your parent was on hospice.

First: Was This Death Expected?

The steps differ significantly based on the circumstances.

Expected death means your parent had a terminal illness, was on hospice or palliative care, or had expressed clear end-of-life wishes. You were not surprised — even if it is still deeply painful.

Unexpected death means there was no known terminal illness, no DNR in place, or no one present who can speak to the circumstances. This includes any death where you are unsure whether your parent would have wanted resuscitation attempted.

If Your Parent Was on Hospice

Call the hospice nurse first — not 911.

This is the single most important instruction for families whose parent is enrolled in hospice care.

The hospice nurse is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They are the appropriate first responder for a hospice patient who has died at home. The nurse will come to the home, confirm the death, complete the death certificate paperwork (or coordinate with the physician of record to do so), and contact the funeral home on your behalf.

Calling 911 instead can result in paramedics arriving, initiating resuscitation attempts despite a DNR, and transporting your parent to a hospital — the exact outcome hospice care is designed to prevent.

When you call the hospice line:

• State your name, your parent's name, and that you believe they have passed
• They will ask a few questions and dispatch the on-call nurse
• Do not move the body until the nurse arrives and pronounces death
• You do not need to be alone — call family members to come be with you

After the nurse confirms death and completes their documentation, they will coordinate with the funeral home for body transport. You do not need to make that call yourself in the moment.

If Your Parent Had a DNR but Was Not on Hospice

If your parent had an out-of-hospital DNR order or POLST form but was not enrolled in hospice, the process is slightly different.

Call your parent's primary care physician or the after-hours service for their medical practice. The physician (or a physician designee) must typically pronounce death for the death certificate to be completed without an autopsy. In many states, a physician can do this by phone based on the patient's recent medical history, and the funeral home can then transport the body.

If you cannot reach the physician and the situation requires you to call 911, make sure the DNR or POLST is immediately visible and hand it to the paramedics as soon as they arrive. Tell them directly: "My parent has a DNR order. This is the document." Do not assume they will look for it.

Know your state's laws. Some states allow a hospice nurse or nurse practitioner to pronounce death. Others require a physician. Your parent's doctor should have walked you through this before the situation arose — but if they did not, call the doctor's office first and ask what to do.

If the Death Was Unexpected

Call 911.

If your parent's death was not expected — they showed no signs of imminent death, had no terminal diagnosis, or collapsed suddenly — call 911 immediately. Paramedics will assess the situation and determine whether resuscitation is appropriate.

If there is any chance your parent would have wanted CPR attempted, call 911 without delay. Minutes matter in cardiac arrest survival.

If you know your parent did not want resuscitation but you cannot locate their DNR paperwork, you are in a difficult position. Be honest with the paramedics about what you know. They will do their best, but without the legal document, they are generally required to proceed.

This is one of the strongest arguments for keeping the POLST or out-of-hospital DNR posted visibly — on the refrigerator, on the front door — so it can be located in seconds.

If the coroner's office becomes involved (which happens with unexpected or unattended deaths), they will guide you on next steps. Do not move the body until instructed to do so.

Do Not Call 911 If These Apply

You do not need to call 911 if:

• Your parent was on hospice (call the hospice nurse instead)
• The death was expected and a physician is available to pronounce death
• Your parent had a valid out-of-hospital DNR or POLST that is present in the home

Calling 911 in these circumstances is not wrong — it will not get you in legal trouble — but it often results in a stressful scene with EMTs, police, and possibly an ambulance transport that conflicts with your parent's wishes and your family's ability to have a peaceful moment.

What Happens in the Hours After Death

Once death has been officially pronounced:

• Contact the funeral home to arrange body transport. In most states, the body can remain in the home for several hours — you do not need to rush.
• Take a breath. There is no law requiring you to call everyone in the first ten minutes. It is okay to spend time with your parent before the world starts moving.
• Call close family. Honor any specific wishes your parent had about notification order.
• Secure the home once the body is transported. Arrange care for pets.
• Do not distribute anything yet. Nothing should be moved or taken until the executor takes inventory — impromptu distribution creates legal and family conflict.

The First Week After Death

The immediate logistical tasks that follow are:

• Order death certificates — typically 10 to 15 certified copies. Banks, insurance companies, and government agencies each require their own original. Ask the funeral home to order them at the time of arrangement.
• Locate the will. Find the original (not a photocopy) and contact the executor.
• Notify Social Security. Payments must be stopped immediately — any payment received after death must be returned. The funeral home often handles this, but confirm.
• Notify their bank so that automatic withdrawals can be managed.

If your parent completed a pre-planning worksheet or had wishes documented, this is when those notes become invaluable. Families who have this information make better decisions, spend less money, and spend more time grieving together rather than arguing about logistics.

The Single Most Helpful Thing You Can Do Right Now

If you are reading this because you are helping an aging parent prepare — not because you are already in the middle of a crisis — you have time to make this easier.

The most important steps are:

1. Make sure your parent's POLST or out-of-hospital DNR is completed, signed, and posted visibly in the home
2. If they are appropriate for hospice, enroll them so you have the hospice nurse number ready
3. Write down the phone numbers you will need — hospice on-call line, physician after-hours line, funeral home — and post them with the medical orders

Our End-of-Life Planning Workbook includes a step-by-step "First 24 Hours" checklist designed to be used in the moment — not as something you have to think through when you are exhausted and grieving. It also includes templates for gathering the contact numbers, medical orders, and funeral preferences in one place so you do not have to search for anything when time is short.

No family should be making these decisions for the first time in the worst moment of their lives. The planning is a gift — both to yourself and to your parent.