How to Write an Obituary: Examples, Templates, and What to Include

Writing an obituary is one of the most personal tasks you will face after losing a loved one. It is part announcement, part biography, and part tribute, all compressed into a few hundred words that need to be drafted during one of the most emotionally difficult periods of your life. Most families are asked by the funeral home to provide an obituary within a day or two, which adds time pressure on top of grief.

The good news is that there is a reliable structure to follow. You do not need to be a professional writer to craft something meaningful. This guide breaks down the key elements of an obituary, provides a working template, and offers practical tips to help you write something that genuinely honors the person you have lost.

The Purpose of an Obituary

An obituary serves several practical and emotional functions:

• Public notification. It informs the broader community that someone has died and provides details about memorial services.
• Historical record. It becomes a permanent part of the public record, often archived in newspaper databases and genealogy sites.
• Tribute. It celebrates the person's life, captures their personality, and acknowledges their relationships.
• Family communication. For extended family and distant friends, the obituary may be the first and primary source of information about what happened.

Understanding these purposes helps you decide what to include and what tone to strike. An obituary is not just a list of facts; it is the last public story told about a person's life.

The Essential Elements

Every obituary follows a general structure. You can adjust the order and emphasis based on what matters most to your family, but these are the standard building blocks.

1. Full Name and Identifying Details

Start with the person's full legal name, including their maiden name (if applicable). Many families also include nicknames in quotation marks. Follow this with the person's age and place of residence at the time of death.

2. Date and Place of Death

State when and where the person died. You can be as specific or general as you feel comfortable with. Some families include the cause of death; others keep it private. Neither approach is wrong.

3. Biographical Summary

This is the heart of the obituary. It typically includes:

• Date and place of birth, including parents' names.
• Education (high school, college, vocational training).
• Career highlights (significant employers, accomplishments, years of service).
• Military service (branch, rank, years served, notable deployments or honors).
• Marriage (when, where, and to whom).
• Significant life events (immigration, major relocations, notable achievements).

4. Personal Characteristics and Interests

This is where the obituary becomes more than a list of dates. Describe what made this person who they were. Were they an avid gardener? A devoted sports fan? Did they tell terrible jokes that made everyone laugh anyway? Did they volunteer at the food bank every Saturday? These details are what people remember most.

5. Survivors (Those Left Behind)

List the immediate family members who survive the deceased. The traditional order is:

1. Spouse or partner
2. Children (and their spouses)
3. Grandchildren and great-grandchildren
4. Parents (if still living)
5. Siblings (and their spouses)
6. Other significant relationships (close friends, caregivers, beloved pets)

For large families, you might list children by name and then note "numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren" rather than naming each one individually.

6. Predeceased

List close family members who died before the person, typically using the phrase "preceded in death by" or "predeceased by."

7. Service Information

Include the date, time, and location of the funeral, memorial service, visitation, or celebration of life. If the service is private, you can note "A private family service will be held." If there is an online component (a live-streamed service), include that information as well.

8. Special Requests

This section covers:

• Charitable donations in lieu of flowers ("In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to [organization]").
• Dress code for the service (some families request bright colors or casual attire).
• Guest book or online memorial page details.

A Working Template

Here is a template you can adapt. Fill in the brackets with specific information.

[Full Name], [age], of [city, state], passed away [peacefully / surrounded by family] on [date] at [location].

[He/She/They] was born on [date] in [city, state] to [parents' names]. [He/She/They] graduated from [school] and went on to [career summary]. [He/She/They] married [spouse's name] on [date] in [location], and together they [brief detail about their life together].

[Name] was known for [2-3 personal characteristics or passions]. [He/She/They] loved [specific hobbies, interests, or habits]. [A brief anecdote or memorable quality.]

[Name] is survived by [list of survivors]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [list of predeceased family members].

A [funeral/memorial service/celebration of life] will be held on [date] at [time] at [location]. [Visitation details if applicable.] [In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to [organization].]

Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary

Start by Gathering Information

Before you sit down to write, collect the key facts. Ask family members to help fill in gaps. The details you need include dates, full names, places, and the names of survivors. Having this information in front of you before you start writing makes the process much less stressful.

This is one of the reasons why advance planning is so valuable. If a parent has already organized their key facts, wishes, and biographical details in a planning workbook, writing the obituary becomes a matter of pulling from that resource rather than scrambling through memory and paperwork during a time of grief.

Write in the Person's Voice

Think about how the deceased person would describe themselves. Were they formal or casual? Serious or playful? Let their personality come through. An obituary for a retired Marine who loved fishing should read differently from one for a kindergarten teacher who collected ceramic cats. There is no single "right" tone.

Be Specific, Not Generic

Generic phrases like "beloved by all" or "will be greatly missed" are not wrong, but they do not tell the reader anything distinctive about the person. Instead, try to include at least one concrete detail that only applies to this individual. Maybe they made the best cornbread in the county, or they never missed a single one of their grandchild's soccer games, or they read the newspaper front to back every morning with the same cup of black coffee. These specifics are what make an obituary feel real.

Keep Length Appropriate

Most newspaper obituaries run between 200 and 400 words. Online obituaries can be longer since you are not paying by the line. If the obituary will be published in a print newspaper, check with the publication about word limits and costs before you write, since many papers charge per line or per word.

Have Someone Review It

Ask another family member or trusted friend to read the obituary before it is published. A second set of eyes catches factual errors, typos, and omissions. It is easy to accidentally leave out a grandchild's name or misremember a date when you are grieving.

Consider Who Is Reading

The audience for an obituary is broad: close family, distant relatives, old friends, former colleagues, neighbors, and community members. Write with that range of readers in mind. Include enough context that someone who did not know the person well can still appreciate who they were.

A Note on Costs

Newspaper obituary placement costs vary widely. Some small-town papers still publish obituaries for free; major metropolitan papers may charge several hundred dollars or more. Many families now opt for free online obituary sites (Legacy.com, local funeral home websites) as the primary publication, with a shorter paid notice in the newspaper.

Funeral homes will often assist with drafting and placing the obituary, so ask what support they offer.

Planning Ahead Makes This Easier

Writing an obituary under pressure is one of the hardest parts of the days immediately following a death. Families who have discussed these details in advance, or who have a parent's key biographical facts already organized, consistently report that the process feels more manageable.

An end-of-life planning workbook gives your family a place to record biographical details, personal wishes, and the names and relationships that matter, all before a crisis occurs. When the time comes to write the obituary, having that information already gathered in one place transforms a stressful, time-pressured task into a more thoughtful, intentional process.

Key Takeaways

• Follow the standard structure: name, dates, biography, personal details, survivors, service information, and special requests.
• Include at least one or two specific, personal details that capture the person's character.
• Gather all factual information before you start writing.
• Have another family member review the draft before publication.
• Check newspaper costs and word limits in advance if you plan to publish in print.
• Advance planning, including writing down biographical facts and personal wishes ahead of time, makes this task significantly easier for the family.